Self-Indulgence

This is more of a journal entry but I thought I'd publish it anyway.  Since I was born 27 years ago today, it made me reflect on how different my life was 5, 10, etc. years ago.  I thought I'd share since I'm bored. :)

20 years ago...
I was in the 1st grade, living in Granada Hills.  I had my school yard crush, my best friend, and the mean friend I really wished wasn't around.  My parents were (barely) still married, but legal separated and in the beginning phases of their divorce.  My stuffed animals consumed my free time.

15 years ago...
Worst. Time. Of. My. Life.  Lisa and I were transitioning into living with our grandparents because my mother's drug addiction had spiraled out of control.  I rotated between sleeping on the couch and sleeping in my grandmother's guest bedroom, while dealing with my mother's relapses.  I was the loser, made fun of on the school yard, sat at the "freak" table.  I was also a bully myself at times.  I read Shakespeare for fun and listened to Classical music.  When I realized that wasn't cool, I transitioned to Mariah Carey and TLC.  I escaped my crappy life by getting straight A's, band geeking it, and getting into artwork.

10 year ago...
Junior in high school.  Still at my grandparents.  Proud Agnostic/Wiccan/Anything by Christian.  By now I had had my first kiss, experienced my first falling out with a good friend, obtained my driver's license.  I was anticipating going to Vancouver, BC with the band, taking the SATs and going to prom.  I resented my mother's sudden attempt at being a parent.  I passed time between classes working on portraits.  I was still a proud band geek.  I wanted to be a psychologist or forensic scientist.  My favorite way to spend time with the friends was watch chick flicks and eat Ben & Jerry's..

5 years ago...
Senior in College at UCSD.  Recent LDS convert. Lived with my Mormon Paradise girls.  Proud Molly Mormon (the non-judgmental subtype, I'd like to believe...).  Bought my first car.  Submitted grad school applications so I could be a therapist social worker.  Pined over the shy, sweet, kinda nerdy guy who would soon give me the "let's be friends, you're not my type but I don't know what is even though I'm 27 and have never been on a second date (and by the way I drive a Honda)" talk.  Rocked out to Kelly Clarkson, the Backstreet Boys, and whatever was on the radio.  How free time with the girls (and James, Steve, Dan/Bry) was spent: Lost, Disney-themed movie nights, game nights, and brownies.  Updated the White Board every week with academic goals (read these chapters, rock this test, etc.) and social goals (smile at a cute guy, get "chocolate candy"). 

Today
Finished graduate school.  Living in Los Angeles.  Endowed.  Mid-Single Adult (that's old, in single Mormon years).  Family History Guru (wannabe).  Legitimate adult with a salaried job and benefits as a CPS social worker.  I hang out in the ghetto.  I've traveled to a different continent and have a flight booked to see another one.  I've been twice a bridesmaid and thrice a self-proclaimed honorary bridesmaid.  I've had several more unrequited crushes, long-drawn-out drama-fests with the wrong guy, and heart break.  I've broken my rules and kissed someone on the first date in a very public place (and still can't get myself to regret it).

5 years from now...
Will I be married? Will I have kidlets?  Will I give up all together and become a gypsy artist in Europe?  How many more countries will I have seen?  Will I have any more nephews or any nieces?  Will I still be living in Los Angeles or working at DCFS?  Maybe I'll have bought my second new car or own real furniture.  Perhaps I'll have my own kitty. I'm excited to see how the next 5, 10, 15, etc. years ahead of me will bring!